60 Best Weed and Stoner Quotes - The Ultimate List

Here are 60 of the best weed and stoner quotes we could find, from Bob Marley and Snoop Dogg to Bill Murray, Carl Sagan, and a few US presidents. Some are funny, some are short enough to caption a photo, and a couple are wise enough to actually mean something. We pulled them from films, songs, interviews, and the great anonymous well of stoner wisdom, and sorted them so you can skim for a favorite.

A quick note on the older ones: a few of these, especially the "founding fathers loved hemp" lines, are more folklore than fact. We've flagged those where they come up. Now, the list.

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Nr. 1-10 - Weed Quotes To Live By

1. "I don't do drugs, though. Just weed."

   Dave Chapelle
   Comedian
   

   Dave Chappelle differentiates between marijuana and other drugs, implying that weed holds a separate and less harmful category in his view.

   Wear the quote: we put Chappelle's line on a shirt. Shop the "I Don't Do Drugs" tee →

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2. "Two of my favorite things are sitting on my front porch smoking a pipe of sweet hemp and playing my Hohner harmonica."

   Abraham Lincoln
   Politician

   Fair warning: historians have never verified this one, and most consider it apocryphal. There's no solid source for Lincoln ever writing it. Still, it's a charming bit of stoner folklore, and the sentiment about a quiet porch and a good instrument holds up regardless of who said it.

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3. "When you smoke the herb, it reveals you to yourself."

   Bob Marley
   Singer

   Bob Marley, the poster child for weed culture, believed in the introspective power of the herb. Sometimes, a smoke session can lead to profound self-discovery.

   Wear the quote: Marley's words, clean on cotton. Shop the "When You Smoke The Herb" tee →

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4. "Stop killing each other, man. Let's just smoke a blunt."

   Tupac
   Rapper
   

   Wouldn't the world be a more peaceful place if everyone took a page out of Tupac's book? A blunt and a conversation might just be the solution we're looking for.

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5. "Couples who blaze together, stay together."

   Unknown
   

   This quote suggests that a shared love for weed can make relationships stronger. Couples who blaze together, indeed, stay together!

   Wear the quote: for the couple that shares a stash. Shop the "Blaze Together" tee →

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6. "It's 420 somewhere."

   Unknown
   

   Similar to the popular phrase "It's 5 o'clock somewhere," this quote suggests that any time is a good time for a smoke break. The worldwide weed community would certainly agree!

   Wear the quote: a discreet watch stuck at weed o'clock. Shop the "It's 420!" tee →

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7. "As an artist, there's a sweet jump-starting quality for me. So if ever I need some clarity, I smoke a joint."

   Lady Gaga
   Musician

   Lady Gaga sees weed as a creative tool, offering her inspiration and clarity in her artistic process.

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8. "I find it quite ironic that the most dangerous thing about weed is getting caught with it."

   Bill Murray
   Actor
   

   Leave it to Bill Murray to find the humor in the situation. He highlights the absurdity of the war on weed in his typical tongue-in-cheek style.

   Wear the quote: Murray's take, printed bold. Shop the "Most Dangerous Thing" tee →

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9. "It's called CANnabis, not CAN'Tabis."

   Unknown
   

   A pun with a message: it's CANnabis for a reason. This cheeky quote encourages us to embrace the possibilities that the herb offers.

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10. "I don't think pot is more dangerous than alcohol."

    Barack Obama
    44th US President

    Obama makes a solid point here. When compared to the dangers of alcohol, marijuana seems quite benign. It's high time for a reality check!

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The Most Famous Stoners Behind These Quotes

A few names come up again and again on any list of weed quotes, and it's no accident. Bob Marley made cannabis inseparable from his music and his Rastafari faith. Snoop Dogg turned it into a personal brand so complete he now sells his own. Tommy Chong built an entire comedy career on it, did real prison time over paraphernalia, and never once apologized. Willie Nelson, Seth Rogen, and Rihanna each made it part of their public persona without flinching.

Then there are the surprises: Carl Sagan wrote a pseudonymous essay defending cannabis, Barack Obama admitted to youthful use in his memoir, and Bill Murray has riffed on it for decades. What ties them together is that they said the quiet part out loud when doing so still carried a cost, and in doing so helped drag weed toward the mainstream acceptance it has today.

Nr. 11-20 - Stoner Quotes from Celebrities

11. "I have always loved marijuana. It has been a source of joy and comfort to me for many years. And I still think of it as a basic staple of life, along with beer and ice and grapefruits — and millions of Americans agree with me."

    Hunter S. Thompson
    Writer

    Renowned writer Hunter S. Thompson was never shy about his love for the herb. Here, he highlights it as a basic life staple, comparable to some of life's other simple pleasures.

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12. "It is, like, the best medicine. Because it fixes everything. Jonah broke his elbow once. He just got high, and it still clicks, but I mean… he's okay."

    Ben (Seth Rogen)
    Knocked Up (2007)
    

    A line from the movie 'Knocked Up', where Ben humorously points out the calming and pain-relieving qualities of weed.

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13. "Can't complain when you've got Mary Jane."

    Unknown
    

    A simple and straightforward sentiment, this quote reflects a common belief among stoners: when you've got weed, life's little complaints seem to fade away.

    Wear the quote: life's fine when Mary Jane's around. Shop the "Can't Complain Mary Jane" tee →

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14. "That is not a drug, it's a leaf."

    Arnold "the Governator" Schwarzenegger
    Actor, Politician, Bodybuilder

    Arnold Schwarzenegger, the "Governator" himself, offers a straightforward defense of weed: it's not a drug, it's a plant. Simple, but powerful.

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15. "The biggest killer on the planet is stress, and I still think the best medicine is and always has been cannabis."

    Willie Nelson
    Musician

    Country music legend Willie Nelson knows a thing or two about stress relief. His endorsement of cannabis as an antidote to life's pressures speaks volumes.

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16. "Sativa to change the things I can, indica to accept the things I can't."

    Unknown
    

    This quote captures the distinct effects of different cannabis strains. Sativa for motivation and change, Indica for relaxation and acceptance. A perfect stoner's version of the serenity prayer.

    Wear the quote: the stoner's serenity prayer, on a tee. Shop the "Sativa to Change" tee →

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17. "Struggle is the enemy, but weed is the remedy."

    Kid Cudi
    Rapper
    

    Kid Cudi, with his deep and often introspective lyrics, recognizes weed as a remedy for life's struggles. It's a sentiment shared by many in the stoner community.

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18. "Dope will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no dope."

    Freewheelin Franklin
    

    Freewheelin Franklin, a character from the countercultural comic The Fabulous Furry Freak Brothers, delivers this timeless wisdom about the value of weed in hard times.

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19. "The illegality of cannabis is outrageous, an impediment to full utilization of a drug which helps produce the serenity and insight, sensitivity, and fellowship so desperately needed in this increasingly mad and dangerous world."

    Carl Sagan
    Astronomer

    Carl Sagan, famed astronomer, wasn't shy about his advocacy for weed. He believed that marijuana offers many benefits that are desperately needed in our modern world.

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20. "Never give up the ganja."

    Morgan Freeman
    Actor
    

    Morgan Freeman is known for his iconic voice and wise characters, but here, he gives straightforward advice to fellow weed lovers. Never give up the ganja indeed!

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What Does 420 Mean? The Real Story

Since a few of these quotes hinge on it: 420 traces back to a group of San Rafael, California high schoolers in 1971 who called themselves the Waldos. They'd meet at 4:20 PM by a statue on campus to hunt for an abandoned cannabis crop they'd heard about. They never found the plants, but "4:20" stuck as their code for smoking, spread through the Grateful Dead scene, and eventually went global.

Today 4:20 is stoner shorthand for smoking o'clock, and April 20th (4/20) has become an unofficial holiday marked by gatherings and legalization rallies worldwide. No, it was never a police code for a marijuana bust. That's the most common myth about it, and it's simply not true.

Nr. 21-30 - Culturally Significant Cannabis Quotes

21. "Make the most you can of the Indian hemp seed and sow it everywhere."

    George Washington
    First US President
    

    This one's real, but worth a footnote: Washington genuinely grew hemp at Mount Vernon and wrote about it in his diaries. He was after the fiber for rope and cloth, though, not the high. Industrial hemp, not the smokable kind. A legitimate quote that stoner culture has lovingly repurposed.

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22. "So what if I'm smoking weed onstage and doing what I gotta do? It's not me shooting nobody, stabbing nobody, killing nobody. It's a peaceful gesture and they have to respect that and appreciate that."

    Snoop Dogg
    Rapper

    Snoop Dogg, never one to hide his love for weed, defends his right to smoke, especially when it's done in peace and not hurting anyone.

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23. "There was a point I was embarrassed at how much thought I put into weed. But I've embraced it."

    Seth Rogen
    Comedian

    Seth Rogen, well-known for his comedic movies and love for marijuana, embraces the thought and care he puts into his weed consumption, inspiring others to do the same.

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24. "If you ever miss 4:20, just wait until 4:22. Because 4:22 is 4:20, too."

    Unknown
    

    A clever play on numbers, this quote gives a light-hearted solution to missing that all-important 4:20 smoke time. It's always 4:20 somewhere, right?

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25. "I got high, and forgot I wasn't supposed to get high."

    Ricky Williams
    American Football Player

    Former NFL running back Ricky Williams gives us a humorous take on the forgetful side effects of smoking. Who among us hasn't forgotten something important after a smoke session?

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26. "If we all had a bong, we'd all get along!"

    Unknown
    

    While the author of this quote is unknown, the sentiment resonates with many in the weed community. The idea of global unity through shared experiences is as lovely as it is amusing.

    Wear the quote: world peace, one bong at a time. Shop the "If We All Had A Bong" tee →

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27. "Is marijuana addictive? Yes, in the sense that most of the really pleasant things in life are worth endlessly repeating."

    Richard Neville
    Writer
    

    Richard Neville hits the nail on the head here. Marijuana can be addictive, but only in the same way that we desire to repeat all life's most enjoyable experiences.

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28. "Don't worry. Don't cry. Smoke weed and get high."

    Unknown
    

    This anonymous quote suggests that the solution to life's worries might just be a good smoke session. It's a comforting sentiment for many stoners out there.

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29. "Why is marijuana against the law? It grows naturally upon our planet. Doesn't the idea of making nature against the law seem to you a bit… unnatural?"

    Bill Hicks
    Stand-up Comedian

    Comedian Bill Hicks raises a critical question here: why is a naturally occurring plant like marijuana illegal? It's a question that many in the weed community continue to ask.

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30. "People say you can abuse marijuana. Well shit, you can abuse cheeseburgers too, you know? You don't go around closing Burger King because you can abuse something."

    Joe Rogan
    Comedian
    

    Comedian and podcast host Joe Rogan uses humor to illustrate the absurdity of marijuana prohibition, comparing it to the potential overuse of fast food.

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Nr. 31-40 - Cannabis Quotes We Love

31. "Why is marijuana against the law? It grows naturally upon our planet. Doesn't the idea of making nature against the law seem to you a bit unnatural?"

    Bill Hicks
    Celebrity

    A classic Bill Hicks quote that questions the very core of weed prohibition. If it's from the earth, shouldn't it be our natural right to partake?

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32. "A friend with weed is a friend indeed, and a friend who shares is a friend who cares."

    Unknown
    

    Unattributed yet universally acknowledged, this quote is a call to camaraderie, reminding us of the bond formed over a shared joint.

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33. "I've always smoked while I'm working. This happens every night, whether the cameras are on or off. This is the lifestyle that people have to accept from me."

    2Chainz
    Rapper

    2Chainz underlines the integration of weed into his lifestyle and his work. For him, smoking is part of his creative routine.

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34. "Sometimes you just gotta say 'fuck it' and smoke a big ass joint."

    Tommy Chong
    Comedian
    

    Comedian Tommy Chong, known for his marijuana-themed comedy, delivers a simple, straight-to-the-point sentiment that many stoners can relate to.

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35. "A marijuana high can enhance core human mental abilities."

    Sebastian Marincolo
    Author

    Author Sebastian Marincolo takes a more cognitive approach, arguing that marijuana can actually enhance our basic mental abilities. Interesting food for thought.

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36. "Don't judge someone until you have shared a joint with them."

    Unknown
    

    This anonymous quote reminds us that sharing a joint can be a profound way of understanding and accepting others. So, before passing judgment, pass the joint!

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37. "If somebody gives me a joint, I might smoke it, but I don't go after it."

    John Lennon
    Singer-songwriter

    The legendary Beatle John Lennon gives us a candid reflection of his relationship with weed - accepting and appreciating, but never chasing.

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38. "Let us burn one from end to end, and pass it over to me, my friend."

    Ben Harper
    Singer-songwriter

    Ben Harper's lyrics speak to the communal nature of smoking weed. It's about sharing and enjoying the experience together.

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39. "Herb is the healing of a nation, alcohol is the destruction."

    Bob Marley
    Singer
    

    Bob Marley, a vocal advocate of marijuana, believed in the healing power of the herb, contrasting it with the destructive nature of alcohol.

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40. "It's hard to be mean when you're stoned."

    Bill Lee
    Naked Lunch (1991)

    Bill Lee gives us a lighthearted and often very true observation. When you're stoned, it's almost impossible to be anything but chilled out and happy.

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Nr. 41-50 - Quotes from Weed Lovers

41. "You either love weed, or you're wrong."

    Unknown
    

    This blunt (pun intended) quote leaves no room for middle ground. You either appreciate the magic of marijuana, or you're simply wrong.

    Wear the quote: not much room for nuance, that's the joke. Shop the "You Either Love Weed" tee →

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42. "Smoke the marijuana and get high. Stay above the wicked and fly."

    Snoop Dogg
    Rapper
    

    No surprise, Snoop Dogg, one of the most famous stoners of all time, advocating for the uplifting and transcendental power of weed.

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43. "Weed is from the earth. God put this here for me and you. Take advantage, man, take advantage."

    Smokey (Chris Tucker)
    Friday (1995)

    Smokey, a character from the 1995 film 'Friday', makes a spiritual argument for weed, reminding us of its natural origins and encouraging us to embrace its benefits.

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44. "Let us burn one from end to end, and pass it over to me, my friend."

    Ben Harper
    Singer-songwriter

    Ben Harper's lyrics touch on the communal aspect of smoking weed. It's not just about the high, it's about sharing experiences with good friends.

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45. "Federal and state laws (should) be changed to no longer make it a crime to possess marijuana for private use."

    Richard Nixon
    Politician

    Even politicians, like Nixon, have seen the light on the benefits of changing marijuana laws. It's a private matter of personal freedom, after all.

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46. "Don't kill my high because you're low."

    Unknown
    

    A stoner's request to preserve their good vibes, this quote underlines the idea that we should respect each other's space and energy.

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47. "Kush rolled, glass full. I prefer the better things!"

    Rihanna
    Singer
    

    Rihanna, with her high standards and appreciation for the finer things in life, includes high-quality weed in her list of luxuries.

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48. "I smoke weed all day. I'm a very successful addict. And a smart one. And a very charismatic one."

    Lil Wayne
    Rapper

    Never one to shy away from controversy, Lil Wayne addresses his constant weed usage. He views his habit not as a vice, but as a part of his successful lifestyle.

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49. "Whatever I do, I do it better stoned."

    Unknown
    

    And we're rounding out this section with a confident proclamation from an anonymous stoner. It's a common sentiment among many weed users that they function better when they're stoned.

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50. "Some of my finest hours have been spent on my back veranda, smoking hemp and observing as far as my eye can see."

    Thomas Jefferson
    3rd US President

    Another one to take with a grain of salt: this line is widely attributed to Jefferson but has never been found in his actual writings, and the Monticello historians list it as spurious. Like Washington, Jefferson did farm hemp for fiber. The dreamy veranda quote, though, is almost certainly invented.

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Wow! We've blazed through 50 of the best weed and stoner quotes. The wisdom, humor, and love for weed shared by these famous individuals resonate with many.

The Last Ten

One thread runs through most of these: from Carl Sagan to Kirsten Dunst to a string of past presidents, the argument is less "weed is great" and more "criminalizing a plant makes no sense." Here are the final ten, heavy on the personal-freedom angle.

Nr. 51-60 - Quoting Famous People on Marijuana

51. "I think that marijuana should not only be legal, I think it should be a cottage industry. It would be wonderful for the state of Maine. There's some pretty good homegrown dope. I'm sure it would be even better if you could grow it with fertilizers and have greenhouses."

    Stephen King
    Writer

    Acclaimed writer Stephen King envisions a world where marijuana is not only legal but also becomes a thriving industry that benefits local economies.

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52. "I think America's view on weed is ridiculous. If everyone smoked weed, the world would be a better place."

    Kirsten Dunst
    Actress

    Kirsten Dunst criticizes America's stance on weed and suggests that wider marijuana use could lead to a more peaceful world.

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53. "I do smoke, but I don't go through all this trouble just because I want to make my drug of choice legal. It's about personal freedom. We should have the right in this country to do what we want, if we don't hurt anybody."

    Bob Marley
    Musician

    Reggae legend Bob Marley argues for personal freedom and the right to enjoy marijuana without legal repercussions, as long as it doesn't harm others.

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54. "I have no interest in smoking marijuana, but I can't see any reason to keep someone of age from lighting up."

    Henry Rollins
    Musician
    

    Henry Rollins takes a stance for personal freedom and choice, even though he personally does not partake.

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55. "Smoking weed doesn't make you cool, but if you're cool then you probably smoke weed."

    Unknown
    

    This quote flips the stereotype on its head. Smoking weed doesn't inherently make you cool - but if you're already cool, you're probably a fan of the green.

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56. "Even if one doesn't smoke pot, one has to see the benefits of decriminalizing it!"

    Danny DeVito
    Actor

    Danny DeVito emphasizes the broader societal benefits of decriminalizing marijuana, regardless of personal use or preference.

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57. "40 million Americans smoked marijuana; the only ones who didn't like it were Judge Ginsberg, Clarence Thomas, and Bill Clinton."

    Jay Leno
    Comedian

    Jay Leno uses his comedic style to highlight the popularity of marijuana and poke fun at prominent figures who have been less supportive of it.

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58. "I smoke two joints before I smoke two joints. And then I smoke two more."

    Sublime
    Ska Punk Band

    Sublime, with their laid-back style and affinity for the herb, remind us to keep things simple. After all, what's better than lighting up? Lighting up twice, of course!

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59. "Two wrongs don't make a right, but two joints made my night."

    Unknown
    

    This anonymous quote brings a humorous twist to an old adage. It's a reminder that sometimes, a good night is as simple as two joints.

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60. "It really puzzles me to see marijuana connected with narcotics… dope and all that crap. It's a thousand times better than whiskey — it's an assistant — a friend."

    Louis Armstrong
    Musician

    Legendary jazz musician Louis Armstrong saw marijuana as a friend, contrasting it to the destructive qualities often associated with alcohol and hard drugs.

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Weed Quotes FAQ

What is the best weed quote?

It's subjective, but the most quoted line in stoner culture is Bob Marley's "When you smoke the herb, it reveals you to yourself." For humor, Bill Murray's "the most dangerous thing about weed is getting caught with it" is hard to beat. For something short and defiant, "You either love weed, or you're wrong" does the job.

Who said "when you smoke the herb, it reveals you to yourself"?

Bob Marley. It reflects his lifelong belief in cannabis as a tool for introspection and self-discovery, tied closely to his Rastafari faith.

What are some short weed quotes?

Some of the shortest and most caption-friendly on this list: "It's 420 somewhere," "Never give up the ganja" (Morgan Freeman), "That is not a drug, it's a leaf" (Arnold Schwarzenegger), "Can't complain when you've got Mary Jane," and "Don't kill my high because you're low."

Did the founding fathers really smoke weed?

They grew hemp, not the smokable kind. George Washington and Thomas Jefferson both farmed hemp for fiber (rope, cloth, paper), which is well documented. The popular quotes suggesting they smoked for pleasure, including the Jefferson "veranda" line and the Lincoln "sweet hemp" line, are considered apocryphal by historians. Good folklore, shaky history.

What does 420 mean?

420 is stoner shorthand for cannabis and the time to smoke it (4:20). It started with a group of California high schoolers called the Waldos in 1971, and April 20th (4/20) has since become an unofficial cannabis holiday. Despite the myth, it was never a police radio code.

Can I get these quotes on a shirt?

Yes, a good number of them. We've turned lines like "I Don't Do Drugs, Just Weed," "Sativa to Change, Indica to Accept," "If We All Had a Bong," and "You Either Love Weed, or You're Wrong" into original tees. You'll find them linked next to the quotes above, or browse the whole weed t-shirt collection.

Wrapping It Up

And there you have it - the 60 best weed and stoner quotes, by celebrities, politicians, public figures and more, according to us at Mongolife! Whether you're a seasoned stoner or just appreciate a good quote, we hope you've enjoyed this ultimate list. Remember, everyone's journey with cannabis is personal. As long as you're enjoying responsibly, keep on blazing!